I do love to travel alone (despite not going too far)

Actually I am quite proud to be a loner who does things as they come up – Another post from my new site Phils two years to forty. 

As you may have guessed I am a bit of a loner, not always but I often enjoy just going places on my own as it removes the pressure and stress everybody trying to decide what to do next.

Though I’m obviously not the only one who feels this way and a two second second search on Google naturally confirms this it was good to read an article in the Daily Mail about a model who feels the same, and more to the point it was refreshing to read the comments section which is usually less than forgiving on that particular site.

It’s great to actually read comments from other ‘real’ people who do enjoy going to concerts, bars, travelling and indeed eating on their own. My favourite bar is literally like a real world version of Cheers, and indeed I’ve often walked in to be greeted with ‘PHIL…’ Though I have sort of mentioned this in the previous post ‘Spontaneous me’

After reading just a few of the cool blogs here on WordPress it gives me so much inspiration. Once again I intend to spend a few days in Whitby, hopefully late November or early December. I’ve only ever been there during spring and summer and have yet to see it with the excellent moody weather. I’d love to wonder around the town as it was surrounded by fog, fading light and a black foreboding sky.

A recent stay in a Youth Hostel was such a great eye opener for me, as I stayed in a shared dorm (for the bargain price of £19 per night!) with breakfast included in the main dining room / cafe looking out on to the ruins of Whitby Abbey and an always open communal kitchen and dining room for other meals. I was got to meet some really nice, and perhaps most importantly a group of people who I would otherwise not have met.

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My nervous breakdown at work I (a confession of sorts)

Here are two more posts from my new site (badly named**) site ‘Phils two years to forty’
**Unfortunately all the good names seem to have gone!

This post talks about a mini nervous breakdown I had at work several years ago due to a huge amount of pressure. Without naming the employer I will just say that they like to Cooperate with the community and are ‘good for everybody’

A confession of sorts – (sorry for the long post)

OK, something I have only ever told a few people, and usually while drunk.

A few years ago in my old job working in a department store I had a ‘mini’ nervous breakdown. I say ‘mini’ as it wasn’t actually diagnosed but I know what happened and I rather stupidly just continued with my life.

We had been working on a store wide change over to bar coding for many months and during the final day before change over I had been given the relatively simple task (in theory) of creating bar codes for all the customer saves and lay-bys. Unfortunately while it should have taken a few hours at the most it was clear very early on that this two to three hour job was going to run to all day, at least eight, maybe ten hours.
This was mostly due to poor descriptions on products and incorrect pricing which introduced many errors.

While keeping management constantly updated with the issues and constant problems I faced it seemed to make no difference to the pressure they were piling on, though to those who fitted in and their ‘favourites’ seemed to be allowed to let dead lines slip. After a day form hell it came to break time and I thought they would let go, even just for a short while…..
Apparently for the ethical retailer which like to Cooperate with it’s shareholders and is ‘Good for everybody’ this doesn’t seem to apply to the staff!

While trying to work and catch up lost time as quickly as possible I had both local and senior management literally breathing down my neck asking how much longer it would take, then ignoring my explanation. They didn’t understand that descriptions such as Playmobil, Jigsaw or Boy were so vague as to be near useless!

Around 8 pm I was still being harassed as to how long the project would take, and once again after showing them the paper work, notes and other information I’d collected trying to make it all work I finally snapped.

All I remember is one moment being sat behind a computer, then a blank and finally in an office sat on the desk as I didn’t want the chair (!)

My manager gave me a lift home despite my constant protests about being able to walk home, it was less than half a mile after all and me arguing that I could be there in less than ten minutes, my sneaky plan was to stop in my favourite bar and drink ’til I rebooted. Though I didn’t want them to see me in that state.

At home I quickly regained my senses (in a fashion) and knew that drinking was the last thing I should do, so I put the kettle on for a large cup of tea. As I was out of milk I picked up the car keys and drove to the local shop, while there I gave in a brought a four pack of beer along with the milk, pizza, bread and other random items a person who isn’t really thinking straight buys.

Back home I started to empty my shopping bag and suddenly thought how stupid I’d been to drink drive to the shop. I hadn’t been drink driving, just my mind was still thinking that I wasn’t to get drunk in the pub. As I finally got rid of that thought I looked at the beer I’d just brought and again thought I’d been drinking and driving (I really hadn’t)
As I sat on the stairs leading to my bedroom I didn’t know what to think. Confusion reigning and the brain struggling to separate reality from fiction… I knew I hadn’t had anything stronger than a coffee but my mind was convinced otherwise.

Deciding to give up and go to bed ‘drunk’ but not. After what seemed like a good nights sleep I was woken to the sound of my flat mate walking in, so I went downstairs to say hello and see what the gossip about me was and also if I’d made a complete idiot of myself in the pub (which I didn’t visit and neither did he)

Even today about four years later I’m still not 100% sure of the details and on the odd occasion will still believe I stupidly drank and drove despite it being impossible.

Parts of this ‘mini breakdown’ stems form other events and the death of a friend by suicide which often plays on my mind during stressful events.

I hope this makes sense as I’ve written it as the facts come to me very late at night. I will post a continuation as time permits.


The Lost is dead… and I’m almost 40 (!) A new site

Good morning, good afternoon and indeed good night!

Apologies for the really slow lack of updates here on Derbyshire Lost. After many years I finally decided to kill it off and not renew the .co.uk and .com URLs. After several months with little to no inspiration I decided to start an entirely new site talking about my thoughts and feelings as I slowly descended towards the dreaded ‘f’ word (forty)

With the less than perfectly titled ‘Phils two years to forty’ site active for several months I thought it was time to share.

Below is the latest post from the site but please click here for the recent updates.

As I sit here in my rather comfy office style chair spending yet another night on the BBC iPlayer and Netflix while drifting in and out of sleep and basically not achieving anything useful, well maybe deciding to give one of my favourite hoodies to a friend for her birthday. This may seem a cheap present, but it’s several years old and a US import (and very much out of production) My friend has always said how much she loves it.
Which perhaps brings me around to my main point in a round about sort of way –

Yes, I am a socially anxious person and awkward too. I have a very small group of friends which I don’t see nearly half as much as I should, though this is entirely my fault as the opportunity is always there.
After two or three years of being given great advice and told to just do what I feel and don’t worry about things too much (the advice was much better!) I decided tonight to really go for it and book it and f**k it. With my browser window open and ready to book a ticket to see Lindsey Stirling performing at the Hart Auditorium in Rexburg (Idaho, apparently) in just a few weeks time.

Even though I don’t have a valid passport, currently scheduled to work, no idea where to stay or how to get there and perhaps most importantly a need to save the money for an impending house move. None of this seemed important though as I just wanted to have some fun and not worry about what would happen next.
The only thing that held me back was already agreeing to look after my parents dog that very same week several months ago.

Naturally I can’t go back on the decision to look after Gen and wouldn’t no matter what opportunity I had to give up, though I wish both events didn’t clash.

Hopefully next time something like this arises I can heed the words of Peter Kay and ‘book it, pack it and f**k off’
Below – The month of October and my work schedule. Below that, the beautiful old lady I shall be looking after.

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A (quick) new post – Whitby

Hi, it’s been a long time since I last posted anything here or indeed on any of my other sites. This is just a quick update to say ‘hello’ once more and I hope to have more to post soon.

This is the view of Whitby Abbey from the church of Saint Mary graveyard, taken just after midnight with a 4 second exposure time.

I had a three day break in Whitby during the Easter holidays spending just over a day with friends and the other two on my own doing whatever I wanted. As I really needed to save money (having just spent over £1000 on car repairs and a cracked windscreen!) I almost backed out of the trip, as the cheapest hotels were over £70 per night which would have been £210 before anything else, fortunately Google became my friend and I found a great deal at the Youth Hostel for just £15 per night in a shared dorm. Even better it was right next to the abbey. Walking back at night meant a slog up the 199 steps and then through the church yard in darkness, this wasn’t half as creepy as I thought it would be and on the last night couldn’t resist the urge to go wondering around with my camera taking some long exposure photos of the abbey and town below. I will post more in the next few days but this is the first one on the camera.

The hostel is located just behind the visitor centre on the left. The image below is the view from the hostel gardens taken using my rather basic phone.

To view in ‘lightbox’ mode on my Flickr page please click here.

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Introducing Zero 2

Say hello to the return of Zero 2, my new side project which in time will replace the aging and rather confused Derbyshire Lost. Over the years and many versions DL became something that didn’t really fit any of my photography, and as there was a lot to edit which would have taken a while I thought it was time to start again here and resurrect the old but once very popular Zero 2.

View the first post here 

As before you can still follow me on Twitter @philipdolbypics and the Flickr page too.

Phil

September 2014

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Meet Suzy – Throwback Thursday

Before we had the bossy, belly rub loving comedian collie known as Gen there was Suzy. She was such a relaxed soft girl and nothing like the scruffy ball of energy that followed, as long as she had something to eat and a squeaky toy to constantly squeak she was happy. We didn’t know for a long time that she was slowly digging a hole under the fence to get to the neighbours rabbits! She also used to love eating mice, frogs and even toads…there really was no stopping her when she started digging.

This photo is a quick scan and edit to improve the poor 30 year old quality, there are so many of her that are now faded that I would love to start scanning them and try to restore a few to at least HD so they can be viewed online.

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Dog day afternoon…

This photo is a repost from June 2013. Today (11/9/14) was a really warm late summers day and for a quite a while Gen was in her usual spot by the gate watching the world go by and barking at the occasional cat. I went outside from my own afternoon nap to look for Gen and she wasn’t there, when I looked up to the garden to see where she was I saw her fast asleep on the steps. I’ve reused this picture from last summer as it was framed better than the almost identical version I shot today as Gen woke up seconds later to see what I was doing…before drifting off again!

Click on the image to view in HQ on the Flickr page

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